NOVMBER.26.07. Didn’t think I would make it to san jose on time to get the pies so stopped by the whole foods on wilshire and picked up a dutch apple and a pumpkin and a bottle of red. Driving up Thursday morning was loads better than Wednesday night after a long day of ditch digging. Yes there was traffic but at least it wasn’t dark and nobody complained about Hank Jr. on the radio. We got back before sunset and had some boba on stevens creek. Place was crowded with fobs so-called, no English could be detected. It’s the same everywhere. We took some family pictures and played with the dog. Ate some, I sat at the grown-ups table this year next to Uncle Nelson visiting from Delaware. Mai’s a lawyer and Karen has a brand new kitchen. My how the years go by, 700 miles of concrete and 14 hours of waiting don’t bother me when I see the look on mother’s face thanksgiving night. it’s all worth it.

11.05.07. Ever since getting back to work, I have severely neglected my magnum opus, “a cop’s story.” What is there left to say? a kid gets whacked. A girl is robbed. An old man is found strangled with a dildo. The rookie cop gets promoted and beats a confession out of a greasy pusher. Sick of the scenarios and melodrama but too sick of autobiography to just write about me, that’s why I hate writing because it’s like chasing after your tail. Anticipation, waiting, this for someone who can’t stand waiting, who sees every minute more valuable than the next.

Oct.28.07. Our old prep school is having one of those reunions next weekend and Anthony said he wouldn’t be caught dead at the designated restaurant in San Francisco with people he never liked to begin with. I hear this complaint a lot. Around me, nobody wants to revisit the past anymore- there is no loyalty to your roots and the town that made you who you are today. I’m not going to the reunion this year for personal reasons, scheduling conflicts, but even if I could go, would I want to? You’re going to have your silicon valley success stories, dot com millionaires, once breathtaking cheerleaders and volleyball players who are now stay at home mommies, junior congressmen. And then plain folks like me, who haven’t made it. I haven’t done anything to be proud of and to say if they could only see me now. Going back would just be another way my detractors could look down their noses at me. I think of that one Andy Griffith episode, his 20 year reunion, and he bumps into his old flame- they were very much in love. But when she turned 18 she couldn’t take Mayberry no longer and left for the hustle and bustle and sex in the city. Andy, on other hand, couldn’t imagine a life away from where he grew up. The old city mouse, country mouse story. When you’re young you just want to get away and when you’re old you want to go back. You spend your life replacing all the things you left behind.