B.) MARCH 2006. Last night big Greg and I caught the potty mouthed girl next door foxy Sarah Silverman at the hollywood improv; as the orchestra cued "sweet home alabama," the audience erupted in resounding applause. An adorable brunette in t-shirt and jeans takes the mic and says, " I really love that song. That's what they played when I was being raped." and boom we're off to the races being killed softly by jimmy kimmel's gf. Sure, most of the monologue was old hat- heard it on yuo tube before but to see it live was a treat in and of itself. Second billing at the world famous improv went to surprise guest, Carlos Mencia, a man despised for joke stealing with the complete opposite approach to stand up. This motherf#cker must have been doped up prior to ascending the stage, because he was riding the furniture and deepthroating the big black microphone like nobody's business. When the gloves come off it's every man for himself and toes were stepped on, especially the three heavyset girls in the front row.

C.) On Oscar night bustling hollywood boulevard was cordened off, crawling with bomb squad and LAPD holding back rabid fans flashing their digital cameras. In the mix with limousines and burly body guards were right wing nutjobs touting "gays burn in hell" signs, protesting Brokeback Mountain. There are ways to do things and there are ways to f#ck things up for your cause and these western talibanis ought to have just kept their mouths shut. They would never getaway with that in west hollywood- samo and robertson, aka little stonewall. One of the first times i visited the southland outside of college i wanted to see what all the fuss was about and ended up so out of place on santamonica blvd. It's an unusual mix this west hollywood, where bordering beverly hills is Boy's Town and a little east of that- fairfax brea beverly is Little Israel, a place with a synagogue on every corner. On Friday and saturday nights entire families walk down beverly in dark black attire, chicago windy city hats, beards, curly side burns, yamikas, and worship tassels dangling to their sides. Funny that conservatives complain of Mexicans, Salvis, and Arabs not "assimilating" to american culture and yet say next to nothing about the traditional Jews in weho.